Five Things That Made Me Smile (January 2024 Edition)

Construction site in front of my building

I subscribe to a weekly newsletter produced by Billy Oppenheimer, a writer and research assistant for bestselling author Ryan Holiday.

Billy sends an email each week with six things he learned, found interesting, or useful; his Six at 6 on Sunday.

In his December 31st newsletter, one of those six things was a piece he headlined: Accept The Initial Agitation.

Here’s the piece:

As I’ve tried to carve out time each day for some REST, I’ve found it helpful to say, “Accept the initial agitation.” It’s also what I say to myself every morning when I sit down to read and then when I sit down to write, “Accept the initial agitation.”

When you try to focus or when you try to sit with boredom, Dr. Andrew Huberman explains, “the brain circuits that turn on first are of the stress system.” Meaning that when you try to lean into boredom or a bout of focused work, at first, the brain naturally tries to resist. It might have you reflexively reach for your phone, tempt you to pull up your email, or remind you about that text you still need to reply to. In any case, Huberman says, “The agitation and stress that you feel at the beginning is just a recognized gate…There is a gate of entry. You have to wade through some sewage before you can swim in clear water. That’s the way I always think about it.”

Accept the initial agitation.

Billy and Dr. Huberman were on to something. And I liked it.

I sometimes find myself in those moments when I should start a project or activity, but my brain tells me, “Well, what else can we do before we get to that?” Or it tells me, “ Oh, that will be tough. Let’s not even try. “

So, after reading the newsletter, I scribbled the words " Accept the initial agitation " on a Post-it and placed it on the intercom by my desk to remind me what to do the next time my brain tells me to resist the initial agitation.

Little did I know that the next time would happen so soon.

A few days after I placed the Post-it note on the wall, I started a new adventure - my ‘learning to drive a stick shift’ adventure.

There was stress. There was agitation.

And yes, eventually, there was a smile.

Here’s how I got there:

Five Things That Made Me Smile

Accepting The Initial Agitation: Driving a Stick Shift

I recently bought a used car with a manual transmission—a first for me as I’ve been driving automatic vehicles since I was 16.

For 32 years, I did not consider what happens under the hood of a vehicle or how it goes from 0 to 100km/hour. My rationale? I drove an automatic; I didn’t need to.

Since moving to Croatia, I’ve created a list of things I want to explore and learn. Recently, ‘drive a stick shift’ was added to the list.

In January, I signed up for lessons. Things went well. I even drove from Makarska to Split and back with the instructor. Not bad, right?

I began to understand how a car goes from 0 to 100km/hr and what I, the driver, must do to get there (if either of my brothers read this, they will groan).

Eventually, it was time for me to go at it alone.

Driving a stick shift is an entirely different experience. And one I do not take lightly.

I knew it would take time to feel comfortable driving on my own.

I did not know I would panic and freeze on my first attempt to drive up a steep hill solo.

Despite knowing what to do, I could not do it.

While stopped on the uphill, a young man driving by saw the fear in my eyes; he offered to help and drove my car up the hill.

I said thank you.

At that point, there were no smiles.

A few days later, I again attempted to drive my car uphill.

This time, I leaned in and accepted the initial agitation. Less fear. More: ok, you got this.

Again, I was unsuccessful.

But this time, I remained calm, pulled the parking brake, turned off the engine, and calmly asked a neighbour for help.

The neighbour drove my car uphill. I thanked him, and this time, I smiled.

I smiled because I accepted the initial agitation. And that was HUGE for me.

Here’s the thing.

I am terrified to ask for help, terrified with a capital T.

I’m an overthinker. And not in a good way. Is there a good way?

When I find myself in situations where I need help, I often tense up. And then my brain does this:

I imagine asking for help and watching people laugh at me.

I imagine the embarrassment I would feel while they laugh at me.

I imagine being told that I am dumb.

I imagine being a burden to people.

I imagine all of that and more.

It’s exhausting.

And so, to avoid all that, I rarely ask for help. Which isn’t good, I know. My therapist and I are working on it.

So, accepting the initial agitation and asking my neighbor for help was a win in my books.

And you know what? That was enough to make me smile.

Sarma (Stuffed Cabbage)

Sarma (stuffed cabbage) has been a staple winter meal ever since I can remember.

The ground meat, the cabbage, the obligatory side dish of mashed potatoes. All that deliciousness on one plate!

It’s a meal that makes me think of my mother, Sunday lunches, and special occasions.

It’s a meal that I associate with love.

And it is one of my favourite meals.

In my world, sarma is always prepared as if feeding an army.

While I have learned to embrace cooking and having fun in the kitchen, I haven’t embraced making 20+ rolls in one go…yet.

Yes, yes, all of you in the peanut gallery, I hear you. I could make a pot of 20+ cabbage rolls and freeze them into smaller containers—sure, one day.

A few weeks ago, while at a restaurant, I saw the word Sarma on the lunch menu, and without looking any further, I knew what I was having for lunch.

When the waitress brought the plate, even before I took my first bite, you know what I did?

I smiled.

Fancy a recipe? Here’s one: Sarma - Croatian Cabbage Rolls (My Grandma's Recipe) - Food and Mood

Storytellers

One of my goals in writing about this Adriatic adventure is to improve my storytelling skills. Otherwise, what am I doing here? :)

I follow the works of a few storytellers who produce newsletters and blogs.

They include Billy Oppenheimer, Penelope Trunk, Austin Kleon, and Rob Walker.

Billy Oppenheimer introduced me to my Accept the Initial Agitation mantra and a great podcast where Jerry Seinfeld discusses his writing process, among other things.

Penelope Trunk writes about career advice. Austin Kleon is ‘a writer who draws’ and writes about ten things worth sharing weekly. Rob Walker is a journalist and author who writes about the art of noticing.

Their writing is good, and their stories are insightful. There’s always something valuable to take away from their pieces.

As I continue to find my voice, I am excited to read what other storytellers have to say and learn how they navigate the world of storytelling.

I like that I have found a community of people whose words and stories challenge me to grow and stay curious. And that’s enough to make me smile.

*Do you have any recommendations for storytellers who produce blogs or newsletters that make you smile?

Please share.

The Kids and the Macaw

A few weeks ago, I heard a group of kids while I was enjoying an espresso on a patio in Omiš.

The kids were running and waving sticks in the air.

They were running after a flying bird.

Eventually, the bird landed. It looked to be a macaw.

Unfortunately, my cell phone battery died, so I could not capture a photo of the colourful creature.

But I promise you, a macaw (or something similar to a macaw) was flying around the beach in Omiš in January.

I glanced at the people on the patio. I noticed we were all captivated by the commotion- the bird, the kids, and the sticks.

And then I noticed something else: everyone, including me, was smiling.

*The bird was not harmed. I did hear that the bird might be someone’s pet. We could do a deep dive into all that, but let’s not.

My Friend’s Supper Club WhatsApp Chat

My friend hosts a Supper Club most Thursdays.

It’s a weekly event where she invites friends and friends of friends to share a meal at her place.

She posts the meal details and invites friends in the chat to RSVP for a seat at the table and help with drinks, ingredients, kitchen prep, or ‘dish ninja skills,’ as she puts it.

I was fortunate to attend a few of her Supper Club get-togethers in Canada. And even though I no longer live in Canada, I chose to remain in her group chat.

Because:

1. The topic is food

2. My friend is a gem of a human

3. I’ll be back for a visit soon

Her invites open up a text exchange that is always full of love, humor, and food.

This wasn’t a Supper Club event but it was a get together coordinated by the same friend.

Someone might offer to bring a bag of yams or apples (sometimes, the ingredients offered are unnecessary for the dish).

Others will reply and offer to bring the wine, cheese, or Skittles.

Someone might offer to bring prickly pear cacti they had recently propagated- you know, just in case guests needed prickly pear cacti.

I haven’t booked my next visit to Canada, but until I do, I will enjoy following along in the Supper Club group chat.

Because:

1. the topic is food

2. my friend is a gem of a human

3. I’ll be back for a visit soon

And that is enough to make me smile.

And there you have it.

Those were just some of the moments that made me smile in January.

Thanks to all who played a part in these five smiles.

A special shoutout to all those who messaged me with words of encouragement regarding driving.

Yes, I, too, think learning to drive a stick shift would have been easier to master in a residential neighbourhood in Mississauga. But where’s the fun in that?

Let me know what made you smile in January. I’d love to hear about it.

As for me, it’s back to conquering those uphills.

I got this. The Post-it note tells me so.